2003 I find the men here to be very average - sorry guys, but then, look who's writing - but the women are incredible. I think it's something in the Y chromosome. Polish women, who lack this chromosome, are surely among the beauties of the world, but the Polish Y chromosome allows for nothing special. But, hey! I don't hear any males complaining.

2003 Learning something about Polish modern history is interesting. They pretty much ring-lead Eastern Europe out of Russian control and they are intensely proud of their independence. They are proud to have endured communism without ever completely condescending themselves to it - they partied as Poles and I'm told they spoke as freely as they liked among friends and relatives (even at the height of the totalitarian regime) - and now that they're free of it they're ready to embrace the European Union (scheduled for next year [fulfilled 1 May 2004]).

They also like to parody this ugly past. A close friend of mine recently went to a formal dinner where she said some effort had been made to parody a communist feel. They were made to wear red scarfs and ties. Their knives and forks were chained to the tables (as if they might otherwise steal them. I believe this is an exaggeration). Two gruff polish women (actors) attended to the toilets, and so of course the toilets were in a terrible state, with several being 'out of order', and cigarette butts littering the sinks. A waiter (another actor) went around allocating to each person what proportions they could have of whatever food. Everyone was given one shot of vodka and one sausage, or something like that. Reliving this past, with exaggeration and humour, I'm told they all had a ball.

It was just as an Easter should be, so I don't need to describe it in much detail, other than to say that this actually meant observing both Good Friday and Easter Sunday. For a start, everyone went to church. I think Kasia's family went every day for several hours each day. On Friday and Saturday, Kasia's family spent some time preparing all sorts of Polish food, including cheesecake and Silesian rolada (see Food). They boiled many eggs, dying them red by submerging them in jars of water and red onion leaves. I helped them scratch out various designs on the shells; and so we had traditional Easter eggs (which I'm sure was much to the disgust of the chocolate factories, who make an absolute killing at this time in my country).

So, on Easter Sunday we all stuffed ourselves silly with (real) eggs and good hearty food, and on Monday we went for an invigorating stroll up some gentle slopes in the Polish countryside. It has been really nice to enjoy once more the meaning and Spirit of these Christian festivals - for, whether I'm religious or not, I would rather experience something traditional than something superficial. Thankfully, Poland is a culture that has not yet been diluted by excessive political sensitivities and cultural homogenisation, and this has been an insightful experience for me.

Dating: Many people will marry their first mature partner. Very few will have two or three partners before marriage. Many girls I know complain that the boys take too long to begin courting them. It might take several months before a boy will invite a girl out on a date, say for a coffee or to a movie. The men I know don't tend to discuss the opposite sex very much, nor do they have much to say about sex in general. In these areas, Polish people are fairly conservative. As I am from a more liberal background, and as I tend to be somewhat bumptious and outspoken, I think some of my friends have thought me a little eccentric on these matters.

Education: I understand that by the time you are at high-school, you have been placed according to whether you are likely to be a technical person or an academic. You must then last at least four years in this system. If you fail the first, second or third year, they make you repeat it; and you repeat it year after year until you pass.

The last year of schooling is known as Matura. In May students are tested for everything they have learnt during their four years at high-school, and many Polish academics tell me that this was the worst exam of their lives. If you fail, you are drafted straight into the army. You cannot repeat the last year, but you may take the exam again when it comes around a year later. Only by passing, may you apply to go to university as a regular student. People who choose to study later in life generally enrol in night classes. University students normally aim to complete at least a masters degree (with bachelors degrees being uncommon). The prospects of being made to join the army upon failing the Matura is enough to motivate most young people I know. I think that perhaps I may even have taken such a system more seriously.

As if to parody the issue of education here in Poland, I have one amusing anecdote to tell. A week away from the Matura exams - a very stressful time both for students and teachers - a young lad I know, named Krzysiek, was hit by a car and thrown from his bicycle. He was not hurt. The driver turned out to be his history teacher. Krzysiek was surprised when his teacher got out of the car and had nothing more to say other than, "Well, Krzysiek, remember to study for your history test tomorrow"! The history teacher then got back in the car and drove away, leaving this already dazed young student all the more doubting his grip on reality.

Food: When I lived in Germany, one thing I could not do without was my favourite Polish sausages, frankfuterki (which I now know is nothing like frankfurters) and kabanosy. Not being able to find anything nearly half as satisfying in either Stuttgart or Kassel, I had Polish friends deliver them to me, and I picked them up myself when I visited Mikolow. Find out just how deeply Polish cooking won me over by reading my article above on Hearty Polish Food.

G'day: I have often observed that Polish people seldom look others in the eyes when shaking hands. I find this uncomfortable, but their handshakes are otherwise firm and sincere. I have asked some of my friends about this, and it is their opinion that looking someone in the eyes is simply not a required part of Polish greetings. Okay for pubs and informal occasions with friends, perhaps.

Traditionally, you should not welcome or say goodbye to someone whilst standing directly under a doorway. Senior citizens can be zealous about this.

Although it seems to be a proper display of respect for one's seniors, often my friends don't stand up to greet one another, even when women join the group.

Harmonics: I am very impressed with Polish music, and I now own quite a few albums, including T-Love, Kult and Myslovitz. I have also been to some very entertaining and successful concerts and I take my (imaginary) hat off to Chopin, which we played at Kasia's house during Easter.

On the radio, there are numbers of Polish songs that really grab me - despite my lack of understanding - and I think the Polish music industry compares very favourably to other much larger countries, such as Germany. This may be because more Germans are very comfortable with English, meaning they listen more to English and American songs, which arguably dominates music culture. On German radio, I noticed that most songs were in English, and this must mean less commercial opportunity for German bands despite Germany being about twice as populated as Poland. (But what does population matter? China has 1.3 billion people, and in my opinion their pop is to music what 1960s American sitcoms were to TV!)

Idiot-Box: I don't know why, but sometimes I like to have the TV on even if I don't understand a thing. I prefer simple programmes to complicated movies, since it is extremely difficult for me to understand the plot with the Polish commentary, or 'lecture', dubbed over the top of the original dialogues (as explained below). Sometimes I can catch more than eighty per cent of the dialogue, but other times I'm lucky if I can comprehend ten per cent.

2003 I can watch many TV programmes here. They're often in English, but the only problem is that a rather monotone Polish voice accompanies them all. You can still hear the actors in the background, but over the top of them comes one male voice. It's the same voice throughout, no matter who's speaking (man, woman or child), but after a while you actually get used to it. It's merely as if it's a drone in the background, and I'm quite able to understand about eighty percent of the actual dialogue. This is enough. Also, their programming is a lot better than what's available in New Zealand or Australia, and then they only have ads every thirty minutes.

Despite this, I sometimes catch myself wondering whether some graduates are just too proud to work from the bottom up. In New Zealand and Australia, many of us in possession of tertiary qualifications were nevertheless forced for a time to work in anything from cleaning, to food and beverage, to telephony. In Poland, it is completely normal for twenty-somethings to live at home with their families and to survive almost completely upon their generosity. Having already lived away from home at twenty, Dad finally kicked me out once and for all when I turned twenty-one. Many of my friends from Christchurch were out by the time they were eighteen. Most of my friends in Poland, being around 25 to 27, are still living with their families. So perhaps you're feeling better now Father!

Kasia: ...or Katarzyna, as the full given name; or Katarzynka, to be cute and intimate; or Kasiu, to use in a question.

Okay... so I admit that I have nothing much for K, but I can at least honour the name of one amazing girl, and at the same time draw attention to what little I know about the Polish language. Polish is so difficult that even people's names change according to whether it is in a question, or on a mailbox, or the counterpart to a preposition, and so on. The Chinese language challenged me regarding tones (altering the pitch of one's voice according to each word), but the grammar was very simple and words never changed depending on their tense or their place in a sentence, etc. In Germany, with German being an old cousin of English, I found that after four months I could follow the gist of many conversations and occasionally contribute to them a little. German was, for me, easier than Polish. Tatjana, a Russian friend with a masters degree in philology and linguistics, surprised me when she observed that Russian is easier than Polish.

I have not tried to learn Polish very much at all. I can get out the very basics essential to getting by on the street, but I have not focused on numbers, times, days and dates, etc, as I did in Chinese and German. On the street, I often get by with gestures, etc. Only in the pub can I redeem myself a little. I have a solid grasp of about the worst vocabulary and expressions known to the Polish language, and it is great for generating a few good laughs and making new friends in a social context. I also know a few poems and songs, but it is nothing to boast about. When I came back from Germany I had forgotten almost everything - I have reacquired it now, and then some - and I spent the first several weeks amazed at myself over just how little I can learn when I try. I have been making slight amends recently, and if I come back to Poland after my time in Russia, I will really do my best to get a handle on it.

Lifestyle: Other than for religion, they live moreorless the same lives as other people in other western nations. I'm living in a very small town (perhaps thirty-thousand people) and I see many young couples with children. Indeed, many already have children of school age, although this is not the norm for my own group of friends, all of whom are intellectuals and academics. (It is the nature of my job to meet educated people who possess the necessary level of English to develop rewarding friendships with native English speakers. If I am lucky enough to socialise with these people, it is not to boast that I am necessarily their intellectual equals.)

I think for many Polish people there exists a kind of simple determination to get on with their lives. My friends have explained that for some elderly folk, the concept of having a fun or easy life is lost to them. After several hundred years of oppression under Prussians, Nazis and Russians, many people see life as a kind of test or curse to be endured. Many dread the possibility of growing old without adequate social or filial support, where anything could happen to them. So that they won't be left wanting, I hear of some older people hoping for an early and easy death soon after retirement.

For the people I know through teaching and socialising, I get the feeling that the outlook is fairly optimistic. An older and largely scarred population are slowly giving over to a more optimistic generation that has had little personal experience with the hardships belonging to Poland's colourful and often tragic past. Based on my own experiences, I think the Polish way of life is not an unattractive prospect - although I think the Western lifestyle in general leaves a lot to be desired. People tend to work hard during the week and rest easy over the weekends, with trips to the pub being a common form of recreation at least for my own group of Polish friends.

As commented on below, Polish people tend to be very, very nice. I have found in my travels that when there are less foreigners and tourists, people tend to be nicer to and more interested in the travellers that are around. This is natural. Foreigners soon lose their welcome when they bring their own kinds of problems to a community, and in any case the novelty quickly wears off. I always prefer being in places with few tourists, otherwise it can happen that you spend the whole time meeting other travellers and never getting to know the locals. Poland definitely meets my criteria at present. With all but her largest cities having few people from abroad, perhaps this is why I find Polish people to be very nice and hospitable. In any case, they are exceptional people and Poland is a great place to come for those who like making friends and really getting to know the locals.

2003 They're a lot happier than we give them credit for in our countries. In fact, their culture's not too far removed from my own, and so adjusting to Poland is not too much of a problem. It's nothing compared to the leap onto another planet that is China. People are not rich, and unemployment stands at twenty per cent, but their education system deserves some respect and many people my own age and younger speak very good English. They love to party and I have found most of them to be very friendly and accommodating. Many Polish people are very nice.

2003 At the moment, the temperature fluctuates from between zero and seven degrees C. I am told that this is very unseasonal and that often by now there's snow.

Opportunities: I am of the opinion that there will be many opportunities in Poland for foreign people now that Poland is a member of the EU. With money and business being injected into the country, an improvement in education and in the standards of living, and more and more people wanting to learn English in order to get to the world, the time will soon be ripe for many entrepreneurs.

Politics: From what I gather, the system of government in Poland is fairly similar to that in Germany. Poland is a constitutional Republic administering to 16 provinces under both a president (Aleksander Kwasniewski) and a prime minister (Leszek Miller). In the Polish cabinet, a Council of Ministers (proposed by the prime minister, appointed by the president and approved by the Sejm), are responsible to both the Prime Minister and the Sejm (the lower house of the bicameral National Assembly). The President is elected by popular vote every five years.

One name that seems to raise considerable hackles among Poland's intellectuals is that of the former boxer, Andrzej (Andre) Lepper. He's the leader of Samoobrona, and without producing even a basic programme, he seems only to demand that "everything should be better". If the fact that "he once led peasants in a raid on a big poultry producer" and then distributed "the sausages he found ... to the local poor [BBC]" says anything, then it seems that he may have a kind of radical socialism in mind. What worries my friends is that he seems to be gaining considerable support among Poland's peasantry with promises like "everyone will be given 10 zloty when I'm elected". My friends are all quite concerned that a desperate but uneducated peasantry will vote for him despite his empty rhetoric. (See more on Lepper below.)

Queer: (I mean no offence, but I need something for Q and somewhere for gay.) It is not common to find open gay people here in these parts. Poland is still a highly conservative society with entrenched social taboos. In all this time, no one has admitted to me that they are gay, and I have found no one who behaves as if they could be.

Religion: Tradition and church play an important role in the cycle of most people's lives. Most believe in God and practise Catholicism. They don't tend to be fanatical, however, and can accept that other people may have different beliefs. As it is, I don't know anyone who's passionate about Christianity - they go to church as a matter of routine and take little time to reflect on spiritual matters. Perhaps Christianity will phase out this century, as it did in many countries throughout the last, but perhaps it's just too much a part of the Polish identity. Some of my Polish friends tell me that "religion is an institution in this country", that "it's a second kind of government". I have seen this supported in various books and articles. For an insight as to why, see my short biography on Pope John Paul II.

Skinheads: On the eve of the Polish invasion, Adolf Hitler commented that he had sent his "...Death's Head units to the East with the order to kill without mercy men, women, and children of the Polish race or language" [ref]. Hitler's hatred of Slavonic people was second only to his hatred of the Jews, and for this reason I find it contradictory that a kind of neo-Nazi movement appeals to some of Poland's youth. Nazi swastikas make for common graffiti along the street, and skinheads - dressed in black clothes, black boots, white laces, and often with suspenders hanging around their bums - can be found in most towns. I have never seen them causing trouble, however, and most of them are fairly small - which detracts somewhat from the menacing stature they supposedly hope to cultivate. To be fair, it may be nothing more than teenage rebellion and expressionism, no matter how ignorant it most certainly is. Still, I ask myself what could be next? Skinheads in Israel? A minority of Polish youth are endorsing the very symbol that once represented them as sub-human and attempted their destruction.

[According to the notes of Admiral Canaris. Originally quoted in "What about Germany?", by LP Lochner (New York, 1942).]

I was also given something more than forty classes and I only saw each class for an hour or two every month. Many classes I saw only once in two months. This meant that I didn't have time to develop two very necessary things in the classroom: rapport and respect. Against a regular local teacher with very different techniques, I believe I was seen as some kind of assistant or subordinate teacher, and I had little hope of winning my students over. I would consider teaching in Poland again, but I would prefer to start my own school here.

I will have much more to say about teaching at a later time.

Union: Poland will accede to the European Union on the 1st of May this year, along with nine other counties. This is set to spark the biggest change in Europe since the collapse of the USSR, and it is one that will possibly have even further reaching consequences.

Many Polish people I know feel reserved about all this. On CNN I saw Andrej Lepper [above] quoted as saying, "It's not guns and tanks that will take the land [Poland]; it's the Euro and the dollar [sic]". This somewhat reflects even the thoughts of my educated friends. They are worried that wealthy Germans will have a field day buying up all the land. Supposedly, Germans will be able to out-bid their poorer neighbours, and before too long much of Poland's best land will be owned by Germany. Why, therefore, did their grandparents die fighting to keep the Germans off Polish soil?

The question of foreigners buying up land affects many countries, and for their part Poland has taken precautions. I understand that there are restrictions to foreigners buying up land within the next seven years (suggesting that by then enough Polish people will be able to compete financially), but through the rent-to-own system that exists presently, it may be that all such precautions will be sidestepped and are consequently rather meaningless.

Naturally, Germany and the other present EU states have their own anxieties (as I confirmed in Germany, also). How will they deal with tens of thousands of poor East-Europeans crossing their borders indiscriminately? Whose jobs will they take? What burden will they place on social services? What about crime, the black market, and the mafia? From what I understand, England will open its doors completely to the citizens of the new member countries. They seem to think that their economy can handle it, and perhaps being on the periphery helps a little also. Germany, on the other hand, whilst opening her doors, may take some while before allowing East-Europeans automatic work within her borders. With massive unemployment in the former GDR, and tens-of-thousands of guest workers (remaining from a time when they had been invited to fill jobs) perhaps being part of the cause, Germany's concerns are somewhat understandable?

Concluding this article almost five months after writing the above - having since lived in Germany, and these nine countries having since joined the EU - I have some further insights to offer.

Returning to Poland several times since the first of May has highlighted this change in my mind. When I first came to Poland a year ago, the border guards spent ten minutes stumbling over my New Zealand passport. They wondered whether my old Chinese visas were for Poland and told me that the letter F, found only on my Chinese visas, was not valid for working status. Again, when I came back from Hungary via The Czech Republic earlier this year, the guards disappeared for ten minutes and I was quite fearful that there were going to be problems.

That was then; this is now. Coming back twice since the accession of the nine new member states, it has gotten easier each time. Three weeks ago, they did nothing more than look at the photo-page of my passport, and I had it back in a moment.

Again, I can empathise with the concerns of both camps. Polish farmers may feel indignant that the new EU countries will receive only 25 per cent of the agricultural aid paid out to everyone else (as I understand CNN). On the other hand, in April the President of the EU said that the accession of these nine countries will cost over the next "ten years hundreds of billions of Euros". It is proportionally the richer states that have to pay for this.

I can understand, then, why the richer states might want to have a proportionally greater influence for the meantime over what happens to their proportionally greater contribution - the supposed inequality of this being another complaint amongst my Polish friends. The idea is that for the next while the richer members will sacrifice some of their wealth to help build up the poorer members, in order that eventually the European Union will be an economical force to reckon with, not to mention a massive world power. If through cooperation, a common currency, and like legislation, the EU can eventually unite it's near on 400 million individuals (100 million more than in the USA) into some kind of barrier free, hassle free and tariff free trade, the European Union may indeed become a world power to challenge both America and the increasing might of the Peoples Republic of China. (With all the troubles facing the world today - and it remains to be seen whether China will be a friendly giant or a dangerous bully - somehow I feel that this is a step in the right direction.)

Vehicles: Come to Poland, and one sight that you won't forget is that of the little Fiat 126Ps. It's the little car that "allowed whole families to go to the Polish seaside during communist times", as one friend told me. I have read that in former times it was not an uncommon sight in Berlin to see the stereotypical Polish nuclear family squeezed into the little thing, with all their luggage ludicrously tied on top.

Going solely by the transport system, you could be forgiven for thinking that this was a communist state, as it would be a hard cry to find anything less efficient. I commute regularly between three cities (Mikolow, Katowice, Tychy) where there are two competing bus companies. Because the companies cannot agree on anything, they refuse to synchronise their drivers to come at regular and evenly spaced intervals. Instead, two buses often show up together, and then you have to wait unnecessarily long for the next two. Also, I think the buses are very expensive compared to most countries. (Heck, what was I thinking it would be like in Germany? A daily pass for Stuttgart alone is enough to get me nearly from Katowice to Warsaw!)

And then the trains are something else completely! The platforms are so poorly signposted that it's anyone's guess as to where the next train is going. The sign for the train to Budapest (via Czech and Slovakia) said only the name for one of the stops en route, and good luck booking a ticket if you don't speak Polish. Also, it's often significantly cheaper to buy two tickets - one to the first station beyond the border, and one from there to your destination - as is the case when going from Katowice to the Czech capital.

Sure enough, I have had lovely times since. See, A Polish Fiasco.

As I see it, drinking is a real problem here in Poland. I have read estimates that around a million Polish men were considered alcohol-dependent by the 1980s. With high unemployment and considerable dissatisfaction existing today, this statistic is unlikely to have diminished by much since then. Even in my small Polish town, I am confronted by drunks almost every day. Thankfully, most of them are middle-aged and not strong in stature. They lurk around certain spots drinking a very cheap and toxic wine, and Lord knows how they keep warm in what little they wear during the harsh winters.

However, some of my Polish friends still maintain that the stereotype is untrue and that "Polish people normally only drink on three days each year: Weekdays, Saturdays, and Holidays".

Still! Who am I to talk? Now that I am soon going to the vodka capital, I tell my friends in Poland that "I am on vodka training for Russia". In Poland, we drink fairly manageable shots. There, the rumour goes, they drink straight from spirit glasses two or three hundred mills at a time. I hope not to become a participant in the kind of pub game explained above, but I am preparing myself for a few rough nights in case I am in the wrong (or right?) company. In Russia, I have read and heard, business is done over a bottle (or ten) of vodka, and it is considered extremely rude not to participate. I wouldn't want to offend anyone.

They tend to drink more beer than vodka, but they often use vodka when getting drunk is the main aim. This they consume cold in fifty-mill shot glasses, and it's often followed up by a chaser - which is a sip of coke, or something. They accuse the Russians of drinking one hundred or more mills at a time straight from the glass, but then they've made me do this also, so perhaps they're friendly hypocrites.