Ni chi le ma? (Simply: Hello. Lit: You eat [past]?)

It is interesting that the Chinese version of 'How's it going?' is 'Have you eaten?'. For much of Chinese history famine was a real concern. Until 1949 it was for the majority of Chinese people normal to endure periods where one suffered from prolonged stomach pains. Starvation was common and most people were affected by malnutrition at some point in their lives, if not constantly. Because of this, one traditional form of greeting was to show your concern for someone by asking whether they had eaten. It is now common throughout China.

One thing that used to throw me completely was when they translated this directly into English. If they just said, 'Ni chi le ma?', I could respond, 'Chi le', and that would be all. But when they came to me and said, 'Hi Jonny. Have you eaten?', I would naturally think they were inviting me to eat with them. When the time wasn't appropriate, I would think they were mad for asking. At other times, when I was hungry, I would happily say, 'No, I haven't. Would you like to go somewhere?'. If they said no because they had just eaten, I would be left feeling like a little boy who had been invited to play with his girlfriends only to be told, 'Sorry, no boys allowed!'. I think it took me several months to adjust to this.

I’m not sure that one could call themselves fluent after a year of living in a country. It may be that your friend [a man who believed this proposition] had quite a remarkable aptitude for languages, but, then again, he may have been casually over-simplifying things. One must remember that English speakers (native and aspiring) are everywhere - making it rather hard to be exposed to a foreign language in the same way as foreigners are exposed to English whilst living in New Zealand.

Nevertheless, I'm making quite an effort at the moment towards picking up this new and fascinating tongue. Being some fairly common terms, I now have a good grasp of many types of greetings and goodbyes. I am also improving at giving thanks (for meals, etc), inviting others to meals, ordering meals, taking and giving directions, and at finding things to say in general when first meeting people.

Recasting new sentences into the question form and into different tenses is easily done also, as the grammar is fairly simple, but it's the reading and writing, on the other hand, that proves most difficult. I don't know if I'll pay any marked attention to their script, however, as I'm not sure whether or not it’ll have any practical use. I can already read English, so it's not as if I'd be in it for the literature, or anything. Besides, effort towards writing is effort away from speaking and conversing, etc, and I think oral fluency is a more realistic objective.

All things considered, I'm hoping to break into basic conversation within the next half-year (through thorough study of a language kit I intend to purchase shortly), and once I'm able to converse I think things will start coming to me a lot faster. For now, it's a matter of working on things like vocabulary, grammar and pronunciation, whilst taking every opportunity to cash in on having Chinese colleagues and friends.

I purchased several language kits and succeeded at spending almost no time on each. I finally broke into very basic conversation at the end of the year - and I mean 'very'. I never came to take learning Chinese seriously, as I was more interested in learning about the culture and history through reading. I preferred learning 'about' the Chinese, to learning Chinese (as a language). I read many books, and often impressed them with my knowledge, even when I didn't impress them muchly with my vocabulary.

Shanghai will be about the biggest city that I've ever been to (7.5 million) and I’ll be there for seven days, which allows plenty of time to explore. I never feel like I'm really in a place till I've travelled around a little and so I’m extremely excited about all this. I didn’t think I’d find the opportunity to get out of Fuzhou until my midyear month’s break (as successfully negotiated for in my contract) and it will be a chance to travel to some other parts close to Shanghai. It will also be a good chance to meet some other like-minded travellers in order to swap experiences, ideas and advice. [I still hadn't met any other foreigners, at this point.] As well as all this, I look forward to stocking up on cooking herbs (oregano, basil), at least six months’ worth of English literature (mainly: historical, spiritual, psychological, neurological), a decent Mandarin study kit (as mentioned above), and some more CDs (which retail for about $3 NZ). Excluding the latter, none of these are readily available in Fuzhou.

I want to treat myself to a good time and one must remember that I’m primarily here to travel, so I might even spend up to 3400 RMB ($1000NZ +). I’ll try to keep my expenses below 2000 RMB, if I can do so without depriving myself of a bit of fun. I’m making a good start at doing this having successfully found a backpackers for only 55 RMB per night. In this way I can start saving for my Tibet-Xian-Mongolia-Beijing trip later in the year (which I should think will require no less than 10 000 RMB).

Anyway, things have been going pretty smoothly. I have a temporary guest living in my spare room, named Darnell. He's an African-American from California, and we keep excellent company. He’s fluent in Mandarin, a graduate of Berkley University (prestigious!) and he’s here on invitation by our school. He’s studying Business-Mandarin (or the likes) in a city three hours by train to the west of Shanghai.

I also have a rather gorgeous little bird helping me out these days with my Mandarin, which is most certainly to my advantage. Our relationship is something of a symbiosis, however, as she is an English major and where she directly teaches me bits of Chinese, I indirectly help her to improve upon her English. We get on tremendously and it’s extremely nice to have her sharp little mind around for company. We won’t be seeing one another for a few weeks, though, as she’s off to her hometown for the New Year’s break.

Anyway, I think that’s about it with me. I’m learning heaps of Mandarin; plenty of travel is around the corner; I have a stereotypically loud American flat mate; and I’m being well looked after by an exotic woman of the orient.

I can briefly add that the teaching’s still going well (excluding some upsets over the contract which I have no intentions of allowing to work against me [more below]) and that I’m growing to appreciate Fuzhou - despite the seemingly backward nature of some of the locals, etc.


To Sharon (the same day)

Here my tone has changed completely. A couple of hours between emails could make a lot of difference.

NEGOTIATING HORRORS

[Referring to the above] this is what had happened. Before I left for China, I agreed to the terms of the contract that they had mailed me. When I first got to China, I was a little perturbed to find that my hours were not from nine to five, Monday to Friday, as we had agreed. Instead, they hoped that I wouldn't raise any protest when they expected me to teach weekday evenings and weekends. They even rostered me down for seven days a week, and thought it odd that I objected. Then they agreed that I should get one day off each week, and thought it would do to give me half a day on Monday and half a day on Saturday. Again, I refused, and I marvelled at how they seemed to think that I was the one being unreasonable. Finally, after some discussion (which required several intermediaries because of language barriers and the Chinese formality of negotiating indirectly), I agreed to these hours (accepting that I gained a proper day off, of course), but it set the tone for what was yet to come.

Several months went by and I began to settle into my routine. Generally, I would plan for five or six hours during the day (for want of resources), before teaching one or two (two hour) classes in the evening. But then I pressed to sign a contract, given that my temporary holiday visa was soon to expire. And we were back at square one.

All I really wanted to do was to agree in theory about what was already happening in practice. Instead, they seemed to want to leave their options open to the point where I felt I could be exploited to the limit if they so chose. They also altered the sample contract considerably, by removing various fringe and health benefits, and the like. When I told them that I wouldn't sign any contract except for the sample contract unless they were prepared to negotiate a compromise on various matters, they tried to disown the sample contract. I had to retrieve it from my email's saved files. They then tried to blame one of my colleagues - as if she had sent the sample without consulting them - but I was able to show (and it was annoying that I had to show) them that they, and not my colleague, had sent that particular email containing the sample contract. They lost some face over this of course, as I was exposing them as liars, but I stood my ground.

As to various other points that had been promised in the sample contract, much intrigue was attempted in the hope of having me forfeit my dues. Dental care was supposed to be included within the health care. Three times my boss's liaison came to me asking whether I needed to stipulate the dental care in the contract. Supposedly it was included within the health care by default. Given that it was included by default, I said, it wouldn't then matter if I included it formally, and so I saw no need to remove it from my contract. Finally, I was told that the dental care wasn't included, and they asked me whether I would mind foregoing this detail. Trying to be flexible, I compromised.

Finally, I agreed to considerable changes within the terms of my contract, but none were unacceptable to me and I also gained a few concessions from them - namely, their promise that I would keep my flat to myself, without any flatmates. To look at my contract now is to be amazed by half a page of caveats that I placed to protect me from a full range of exploitative possibilities. I had seen enough.

I don't believe now that my employers were as bad as I felt they were at the time. In the end, they treated me well, and I remain friends with them even now. I think the main problem was our cultural differences, where I'm used to approaching things directly and being open about my objections, and they're used to being indirect and subtle about changing things. Of course, I'm also used to having certain rights and expectations as an employee, where they may be used to a system where an employer maintains the initiative. I don't think they were ready to have such a defiant and indignant member on their staff, but as I had rightly said to Sharon, they needed us more than we needed them. We clashed because they sought to have me work under the same terms as they expected of their Chinese staff, and I sought terms comparable to those of developed, western nations. Finally, an equilibrium was established that recognised their status as employers and my status as a foreigner (who could demand treatment reflective of my various options).

Of course, I must caution that meeting some Chinese who behave like this doesn't mean that all Chinese behave like this. On the other hand, just because this is politically correct, it doesn't mean that it must necessarily be the case that the majority of Chinese can't be like this. In all my dealings, I found I had to be extremely careful. I later met a good deal of foreigners who were living or who had lived in China, and all of them had similar stories. I had troubles with banks, travel, booking tickets, receiving mail (80 per cent unsuccessful), and several employers and potential employers.

As I've just said, these were also troubles typical to all my friends. I met an American who had sent some things ahead of him from home before he arrived. The customs officials then illegally impounded it, charged $10 US per day for its storage, and demanded $5000 US if he wanted it back. He had practically sent everything he owned, including computers and musical gear. Not a good idea. He spent a full year in China working simply to save the money to retrieve his own goods.

My Irish boss in Beijing - and not a nice man himself [Crazy Boss] - could never completely legitimise his business without some other bureaucrat coming along to say that he needed to pay such-and-such a fee towards such-and-such a document. He eventually had to bribe the head policeman, of the Baobaoshan district of Beijing where he worked, a monthly commission. He was expected to seal the deal by arranging for the services of a western prostitute.

I also read about an American businessman who placed one million dollars in a Chinese account during a Sino-American business trip, only to be told that he could retrieve it because the bank couldn't afford it. The money was still technically his, but the bank felt it had the right to control whether or not it would be returned [see my history essay: Banks]. I could tell many more stories.

My conclusion is inductive, but it is based on a large sample range, and so I feel that I am right to advice people to be very careful with their business dealings with any Chinese mainlanders born and raised as Chinese, and I don't feel this makes me a racist. Most Chinese I've met have been very good and thoroughly nice people when I haven't had to do business with them, but only a small proportion of those with whom I did business satisfied me that some had integrity. The ones who do so satisfy me, such as my girlfriend Ting, are among the best people on Earth. By all means, do business with the Chinese, but be weary that they might see things differently to you and this could affect their attitude towards negotiations. Some books I've read talk about it being in the Chinese consciousness to expect a business deal to work in their favour, rather than mutually [from memory, 'China Wakes', and 'China: Alive in the Bitter Sea', both mention this point (see, Books)]. Chinese expect a seventy-thirty kind of thing in their interests. It has been sited that bitterness surrounding this kind of thing aggravated the British one hundred and fifty years ago to the point of fighting the Opium Wars, which eventually ceded them Hong Kong and very likely cost China it's last (official) Dynasty [see my history essay: Opium].

LYING & FACE

It also seemed to me then that as we negotiated my contract their lying grew out of control, but my views have since softened in this respect. I now realise that they're not necessarily lying to deceive you. As often as not, they're lying because in their minds they hope to save 'you' face. It's not unlike how you might lie to your grandmother after she's just knitted you a horrendous sweater more suited to the opposite sex. "Oh yes grandma", you say. "It's beautiful." Then you proceed only to wear it when you're visiting one another. You're technically lying, but most people would forgive this as a 'white lie'.

With the Chinese, I found the 'white lie' could be a real bother. Ask them the directions to someplace they don't know, and rather than simply admit their ignorance, they'll point in some random direction. Partly, I think, they want to save face for themselves - scared that you might think less of them in their ignorance. Partly, they don't want to offend you by appearing to be unhelpful. Somehow, it doesn't occur to them that you might be rather annoyed after half an hour when you find out that the place you seek is in the opposite direction. I soon learned that it was good practice to double or even triple check these directions with other Chinese.

Once this very situation happened with Ting and I when we were travelling through Guilin. We wanted to find some famous restaurant but we weren't certain of the way. Ting asked an ice-cream vending man, who pointed south, but judging by the map, I had the feeling that it was north, and I insisted that we head that way. Later we asked another stranger, who pointed east. I felt a little more justified in going my way after this. It turned out that I was right, and it left Ting rather flabbergast that my point could be true. She thinks perhaps that Chinese only do this with 'laowai' [foreigners], but she couldn't explain why.

A year or so later, when I was teaching at a school in Auckland, my Director of Studies (DoS) and some of the other teachers were at odds with the Chinese concept of face. They were having troubles with their students who might, for example, arrive late and then complain that they were losing face if the teacher reprimanded them. The students had found the perfect little buzz-word with which to dumbfound their teachers, and, after talking about it with my DoS, I agreed to write an explanation and some advice on the matter.

The thing that I had to point out was that we (as Westerners) also feel embarrassed if we are rightfully accused of lying or of breaking policy, but that doesn't mean that such things should be ignored solely to spare our feelings. And then there is also the fact that the teacher will lose credibility and face if their policies are openly ignored. In such circumstances, I recommended that our teachers remain firm. The thing to do is to tell Chinese students that if they break your policies, you will challenge them about it. I found that the ultimate appeal is to tell them that they "should respect your policies and avoid doing anything that will cause them loss of face if you're forced to save face for yourself". This seemed to have direct appeal.

I began applying this principle with my colleagues and superiors in China, and I found that it worked. Most of the time face is more-or-less the same as it is in our culture. Everyone is inclined to test certain things to the limit. If we think we can get away with something, we're inclined to try. If we think we will be reprimanded, we will be cautious. We become indignant, and things become embarrassing, if we thought we would not be challenged on something, but we are. We like to know what's what, and so do the Chinese. When I told my Chinese associates that I would not tolerate certain things, they respected this, and so I was not wronged and no one had to lose face.

Where face becomes something different to what most Westerners might readily comprehend, it is more because it is a matter of social paradigms and cultural traditions, than it is some innate and implicit difference in what Chinese find offensive. To help explain this to me, Ting gave me the following example:

It is typical for Chinese men to invite their friends out to expensive banquets on certain occasions. What is expected is that their friends will then invite them in turn. Typically, each host then tries to out do the previous host, and so the banquets keep getting more and more expensive. It's not unheard of for Chinese men to spend the equivalent of thousands of dollars on a banquet, and, if it becomes a question of face, they will do this even if it bankrupts them. They might be spending their child's educational savings, or worse, but they've been caught in the cycle and for them it's awfully difficult to admit that they can't afford it. In earlier times (especially before the communists), it was not uncommon for families to bankrupt themselves by putting on expensive and elaborate weddings that were far beyond their means; but they would have lost face if the wedding had been seen as being below their status, and this would have brought disgrace.

In conclusion, the differences between Chinese and Westerners can lead to awkward misunderstandings when it comes to things like lying and face saving. After attempting to do business or to come to some arrangement with a Chinese person, I could be left feeling completely drained and considerably wronged. However, in hindsight I invariably came to realise that their point of view was as valid to them as mine was to me, and I had to learn to respect this. Another factor was that the Chinese like to negotiate through people and they like to be indirect about what they want. Some will even consider foreigners to be rude and impetuous when we go about things in our more direct manner. It is enough to forever be at odds with one's Chinese colleagues, friends and lovers, but with patience and diplomacy, a professional, or platonic, or romantic relationship with a Chinese person can have its rewards.